Friday, August 20, 2010

Sho'ah

The night stretched on, silent, like the whisper of death in Cupid's heart. It was oppressive. The kind that hurt. And suddenly like the shattering of a prism, the silence was massacred by a ghastly shrill scream, a scream of demonic quality,horror and one that filled the heart with loathing;it was the scream of a man who had just lost everything. Emanating from the seventh floor window the scream was suddenly cut off, transcending into an almost pandemonium like state of pure misery where even his voice failed him.It was the scream of a man whose wife had just succumbed to the fumes and a man who was watching his children burn. Alive.

Ghastly. The explosion had ripped through the seventh floor apartment instantly killing the servants and snapping his spine. Weaving in and out of consciousness,all he could do was scream as he watched his seven year old daughter, still asleep in her bed, being surrounded by flames. God was merciful. She died in her sleep being spared the horror of watching the flames reach out to her, until it was too late, until she filled in where he had left off, screaming. His son was not so lucky.

The now crippled father had watched his kids burn even as the paramedics rushed in. In the nick of time- for him.They pulled him out of the blazing inferno but the damage had been done. In one tragic blow, his family was gone. His life was dead. He was paralyzed neck below.

He was out for six weeks and he finally came to, screaming. The nightmare had just begun. He questioned god, he questioned the fairness of the world and most of all himself.Silent contemplation for he was almost a vegetable. He lost faith in god, in humanity and in himself. He awaited death like a parched land awaits the first rains..

God is great. He didn't die. It was just him and bitter sweet dreams. Sweet because he saw his family. Bitter because he saw them dead, burning. And Timothy, a boy of six. Six years old meant society at large and education in particular had not ruined him. He still retained that tender humanity, that basic human spirit of comradeship that we all posses but train ourselves to ignore. And this was how the old man, bald now, got a new leash. Old not because the years lay heavy on him, old because god wanted to be funny.

And through Timothy was how Dino barked into his life, a three year old mongrel and a dog who, with that basic animal instinct sensed the infinite sadness of the room and chose to ignore it, the dog who brought life into the room, the dog who connected with the old man. Finally. The dog who rekindled the dead spark in his life. The reason for his first smile in an eternity. It was an animal bond,transcending all human bonds and a bond forged not out of understanding or compatibility,a bond for a bond's sake. An ethereally beautiful connect, god's gift. A beacon of hope on a black night, the only source of light. Two hours that he looked forward to. The lighthouse and it's awkward keeper, they made his days slightly less unbearable.

But the screams wouldn't stop, nightmares of frenzied burning, like the inferno of death in his heart. And one night they stopped. Misery's nemesis; death. Some wounds dig too deep. Some wounds can't be healed. Sometimes time isn't enough. Peace, like death to the immortals. If I didn't know better, I'd say God was being kind.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Chimera

The sunlight crept deeper into the room lighting up the ghastly sight that was his acid disfigured face, painting a vivid picture on the colorful tapestry that had been his life. The ray crept on, persistent in it's efforts to bring life and warmth into an otherwise moribund room, a tired window into the ruin that people thought had been his life. Born deaf and dumb, he lost his sight in the same accident that had disfigured his face, leaving him scarred, for life. He could not hear. He could not speak. He could not see. He could imagine.

And he'd had a lifetime to do just that, bereft of any contact with the outside world, thanks to his gifts. He was no Hellen Keller in that his imagination took no form recognizable by his fellow humans. Not that they would have or even could have understood if they had seen. Practice makes perfect they say and a lifetime of imagination had meant he had reached a stage where the sheer complexity and beauty of his dreams would overwhelm any that could understand.

He lived in a world of magic and impossibility, immense beauty and wonder. Impossible not because it wasn't possible but because it would never happen. He dreamt of the human race as it should be. Not as it is. A world without hate or prejudice. A world left unmarked by the vicious dreams of conquerors of death. A world without wars. A world without contempt. A world without form for he knew none. Yet, how is it that the dreams of one who didn't know about the sexes, one who didn't recognize god and hence didn't know religion, one who didn't know the difference between good and bad because no one had been able to teach him, and yet inherently knew what made him happy, human instinct, bare human instinct; be the perfect world?

The fantasy of someone with no knowledge, the wisdom of the combined sum of ten thousand years of human consciousness. A universe of colour, the passion of a dead man, yet a universe without form or language, technology or sophistication, death or life.

And just like that, the mirage shattered.The sun set. The ray crept away, futile in its attempts. His dream was lost. His world was dead, but even death couldn't wipe away the frown that he thought had been pleasant, his entire life.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Who says orange and storage don’t rhyme? And more importantly, why babies should be deep fried.

A baby is defined as a smelly stuffy thing which tends to stuff fingers in ears, noses and mouths. Also, it likes staring at spots on my wall and peeing on my head. Reason enough to hate kids. Anyway, dad’s colleagues/friends came over the other day. I knew about that though but I felt like I had been betrayed and stabbed in the dark when I got home that day to see the little thing. You can imagine your shock if you walk in to your home after a long days work and see that dastardly thing on your favourite couch.

Of course, the little monster came with reinforcements. Complete with a talkative aunt who pretended she was a psychic and a grandfather who loved talking about my girlfriends, whose names, he surprisingly remembers. Did I forget the things mom? Of course I did. Because she kind of faded into the background when it was having its fun getting on my nerves and sprang only when I gave the drasted thing a taste of its own medicine. All in its proper time.

As soon as I walked in, mom said, why don’t you take it to your room and play with it. Of course, that’s was precisely my hearts desire, to have the poor unfortunate thing in my room alone with me.(Notice the sarcasm)
Picked it up by its armpits and the head fell back. Weird I thought but I ignored that and decided to support the head. Walked into my room and kept it on the bed. The head plomped back again. Weird. And then I stared at it. Wondering what I could possibly play with it. MOHAA and AOE seemed a little to complicated for its tiny head. besides it would have a little trouble playing them with its head like that. I was bored of chess so I just stared. It stared too. Not at me, apparently I wasn’t beautiful enough but at a spot on the wall.. Kids like doing that I think. because what it saw in that spot I have no clue. Maybe it was making evil demented plans to bomb that spot or maybe it wasn’t. At least I think that’s what kids do, no? .. All I know was that that particular spot was completely indistinguishable from other spots on the wall. Completely indistinguishable. We maintained this state of affairs for about 15 minutes. I stared at the baby and glared at it and tried to make it cry and the baby.. Well the baby continued staring at the wall.
Since me glaring at it was kind of weird and I thought I should be polite to it, I tried making small talk with the stupid thing. Never have I felt more stupid or ignored. I said what’s up to it and the fartface continued staring at the wall with confidence that would leave the best of us shattered. I though it hadn’t heard me so I said what’s up a little louder. It’s response? It shifted it’s glance a tiniest bit and resumed it's evil planning and staring, only this time the malice was directed at another spot, again completely indistinguishable. Damn kids.

I get the point pretty quick even though some people believe I’m thick skinned. Quick thinking and I figured out it didn’t want to talk to me. So well, we made a nice triangle, the three of us. The baby me and the spot which should have been unnerved by all the staring and icy glances I gave it for distracting my audience.
Anyway, all of a sudden a very strange thing happened. Inexplicable really. A fountain started at it’s eyes… Wasn’t particularly strong or beautiful but I though it would look a lot prettier if I placed the lion on the thing’s face. Put the lion there and the stupid thing started eating, quite literally. Now if you live in my house and you know the importance of lions, you’d know that only I AM allowed to chew at my lion’s tail and NO ONE is allowed to even lick the Mohawk. The thing had just made it personal. I snatched the lion back and for effect laughed at it. That was apparently the last straw, it screamed and the mom came running in. She picked it up and then of course there was beautiful brown stuff on my bed. Stupid creature. She carried it off and since I am not one to give up so easily, I followed. I flicked on of its shoes but the fiend had beaten me there as well. The shoe was wet. I don’t know why, I don’t want to know why. Chucking the shoe out of the window, I smiled at it giving it what I thought was a look that would stop it’s heart dead in it’s tracks. Well, the mom decided it it would be safe to undress the thing in front of me, maybe I’d even help her change the diapers. Maybe I’d pinch it while I was doing that. No such luck. All I got to do was carry the soiled diapers to the dustbin. I resigned myself to another 3 hours of talk about my girlfriends and how I got them despite being so ugly, and the thing, well it just continued staring at different spots on the wall. Evil genius.
Nothing has bored me more. Not even watching telebrands on Discovery. Why people make babies is beyond me, why they don’t deep fry and eat them is a matter of great concern and raises a question mark on the sanity of all of humanity.

PS:The female of the spieces is deadlier than the male. Careful observation when it was naked and making plans to bomb my house and flick my lion revealed the thing was a girl.

PPS: I did get back at it at the end. I made it resprout the fountains when it was leaving by slyly chewing the lion while it watched.

PPPS: The thing mad NO movement when I kept it on the bed. Didn’t make any noises either. When all of you grow up(if) and have kids, leave them with me?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

What a night! ROFLCOPTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Managed to lock mom and myself out of the house yesterday with an emergency light, my cell and the cordless... :D:D Turned out to be extremely funny.. This is how it went...



Mom: Give me the keys..I'll go get the tape..
Me:(silently handing over the keys) here..
Mom: You GOT THE WRONG KEY!!!
Me: Woops a daisy..I burst out laughing... Now what?
Mom: I TOLD YOU TO CHECK, THREE TIMES!
Me: hahahhahaha...
Mom: NOW WHAT?
Me:(Inspiration strikes...) I'll climb into the balcony! :D:D
Mom: Yeah sure, then I'll drag you to the hospital and we get a bed there? That's the plan?..
Me: I won't fall mummy.
Mom: No..
Me: Okay.. Let's call papa...
Mom: How?


Me:(Pulling out the cordless from my pocket!) Phone mummy!
Dads phone is switched off... So we call his driver..


Mom: Haan metho jee... Saab kahan hain?
Driver: Saabh to abhi land nahi hue hain
Mom: Starts laughing..
Me: Staring curiously...
Mom: (Laughing hysterically with one hand on the receiver...)
Mom: (Regaining control) Ghar lock ho gaya hai saabh ko bata dsena..
Driver: Accchha theek hai.. Aap gharr ke anderh hi hain na?
Mom: Laughing uncontrollably..Gives the phone to me..
Me: Haan uncle, ghar lock ho gaya hai... Hum bahar hain..
Driver: Acchha acchha theek hai... To kitne room lock ho gaye hain...
Me: ROFL!!! (I give the phone to mom who's stopped laughing by now..)
Mom: Haan metho jee pura ghar lock ho gaya, main door ki chabi chut gayi..
Driver: Oh.. acchha accha theek hai madam..


Mom keeps the phone...Gives me one look and we start laughing away to glory...:D:D:D:D:D
Then we get a call from dads PA...
Me (Facebook! I know what my next status is gonna be! :D:D)


PA: Haan madam, kya haal hain?
Mom: Ghar ka darwaza lock ho gaya hai..
PA:Oh acchha...Main aun kya?
Me:(thinking): Yeah, sure , then we can all sit here and stare at the house! Wow!So much fun!:D
Mom: Nahi.. Aap itni door se ayenge kya point hai??
PA: Acchha theek hai madam main dekhta hoon main kya karr sakta hoon...
Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
AHAHAHHA!

A 15 minute break in which we aimlessly wander around and try to figure out the cordless' range...And laugh!!! Right when we reach the edge of the range.


Man with burly voice:(To me): Haan madam kya hua?
Me: We are locked out of our house.
Man: Okay.. main carpenter ko phone karr ke dekhta hoon...
Me: Thank you..


Dad arrives.. Wielding what appears to be a giant umbrella...

Dad: Kya hua?
Me: Wassup papa?!
Dad: Locked out eh?
Me: Ehehehheehehe...
Dad: Very good.. chalo lets see what we can do.
Driver gets his tool kit from the car..Which consists of a pint sized screw driver, a spanner , and a plier.
Me(thinking) WOW! That's going to be helpful...

Driver goes up and I get the emergency light. Knew that'd come in handy!

Driver: takes out the screwdriver, hammers it into the place where the key should go and swivels it a little to make sure that we HAVE to change the lock..

Takes out his pliers... Stares at them.. Decides they'll get offended if he doesn't use them, and tries sticking them through the millimeter big gap between the door and the wall... Apparently satisfied that we're not getting anywhere, he pulls the screwdriver and says lets break it down..

Me:(I'll make a status out of this!! Yahoo!)
Okay uncle..

We bang at the door thrice... My shoulder's still blue... :( And there a small gap..


Driver: AHA! Takes his pliers stuffs them in.. Tries opening the door with them... Succeeds in destroying a braand new pair of pliers.. Wasn't that fun! D
Me: Lets try again uncle.. I think its working...
Driver: okay..
Me:At the count of three..
One two three..
Bang!!
Yea! Home sweet home...

I help the driver get dads luggage and the giant umbrella thing..
We go upstairs and open it and it turns out to be a giant red garden umbrella, which people like gifting each other in Bhubaneshwar...
Me: Muhahahahahahahhahahahah!!! WHY would somebody gift you this?!
Dad: We'll put in our garden..
Me: (Did I sleep too long?) We don't have a garden papa...
Dad: In udaipur!
Me ahh.. okay... HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH UMBRELLA! WHY?!


Whatta night!! Spent half of it laughing...
:D:D:D:D